Carly Waddell/Instagram
Carly Waddell is opening up about her first Christmas without Evan Bass.
On Friday, the Bachelor in Paradise alum, 35, shared a candid post on Instagram in which she revealed that this year's Christmas felt "incredibly abnormal" after separating from her husband of three years.
Waddell posted a lengthy caption about her "new normal" this holiday alongside a picture of her cuddling her two kids, Charles "Charlie" Wolf, 1, and Isabella "Bella" Evelyn, 2, both of whom she shares with Bass, 38.
"Merry Christmas đ Christmas Day isn’t what I had excepted[sic] this year. The three of us. The new normal. Which feels incredibly abnormal, and actually very sad," Waddell wrote.
"A lot of you kind people have asked if I’m ok. And I want to say I am, but I’m not," she shared. "I will be though."
RELATED: Bachelor in Paradise's Carly Waddell and Evan Bass Are Separating After 3 Years of Marriage
The mom of two explained that Friday was the first day her kids would be staying at Bass' house overnight. Bass is also a dad to three older sons from his previous marriage.
"I feel like I’m missing a piece of my soul," she shared. "I’m literally just sitting by myself writing this."
While Waddell expressed the difficulty in being by herself, she said she felt "thankful that it was a white Christmas" and that "the kids all get to be having a blast with their dad and brothers."
"They are feeling so loved," she added. "Thank you for checking on me. Love all of you."
RELATED: Evan Bass and Carly Waddell Reveal Vasectomy Never Happened, Joke More Kids Could Lead to Split
Earlier this week, Waddell and Bass who met on Bachelor in Paradise in 2016, announced their separation in a joint statement, PEOPLE revealed.
"We have made the difficult decision to separate," the exes said. "We will always cherish our time together and continue to have the utmost respect for one another as we focus on what's best for the future of our family. We greatly appreciate everyone's love and support and kindly ask that you please respect our family’s privacy as we navigate through this."
The split came as a shock to fans of the longtime couple, who seemed to defy the odds of traditional Bachelor romances, though they had been largely absent from each other's social media accounts in recent weeks.
Michael Tullberg/Getty Images Evan Bass and Carly Waddell
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When they first met on the beach while filming Paradise, Bass (who competed for JoJo Fletcher's heart on The Bachelorette) and Waddell (from Chris Soules' season of The Bachelor) appeared to be an unlikely duo.
Eventually, the pair fell hard and Bass proposed on the season 3 finale of the show.
Just before their wedding in Mexico the following year, attended by several Bachelor alums including close pals Jade and Tanner Tolbert, Nick Viall and Kaitlyn Bristowe, Waddell told PEOPLE that "everything happens for a reason."
Waddell added, "It's been a long journey for me in Bachelor Nation, but I would do it a thousand times again. Because the next part is going to be bliss."
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